Psychology of Deception

Lying is as old as the life of man itself. White lies to fat lies, we lie occasionally to rescue others, some to rescue ourselves. But why? And how do we know that other people lie to us? Let us explore the fascinating world of lying and find out the psychological tricks of lying.

Why People Lie

Do you remember the last time you lied? Did you lie to avoid hurting someone’s feelings? To avoid getting into trouble? To appear better in the eyes of others? In “The Honest Truth About Dishonesty” by behavioral scientist Dan Ariely, he explores why even truthful people lie. As he puts it, most people don’t lie just for the sake of it. Rather, they weigh what they get against how they think they are. If the lie benefits them and will not make them look like a “bad person,” then they will do it more frequently.

The following are some of the most common reasons why individuals lie:

1. To Avoid Consequences

Nobody likes getting into trouble. A child would lie about breaking a vase to avoid being in trouble, as an employee will lie about failing to meet a deadline to avoid the wrath of the boss. These are mostly fear-motivated lies.

2. To Get an Advantage

People lie now and then for advancement purposes—for example, padding one’s own credentials on an application or speaking to someone so they can hear what they want to in an effort to finalize a sale. These are ego- and ambition-driven lies.

3. To Spare Someone’s Feelings

Did you ever once say to a friend that their new haircut was terrific when you weren’t that impressed with it? This is a “white lie,” and it is most often told to be polite and get along.

4. Inflate Their Ego

We would all prefer to be thought of as smart, interesting, or successful. Some others will lie in an attempt to impress by exaggerating that they possess more money, intelligence, or experience than they do.

5. In An Attempt to Project a Social Image

Pamela Meyer, in Liespotting, talks about how human beings lie to belong in society. We fake laughter at a dirty joke or fake agreement in trying to be popular.

The Science of Deceit

Lying isn’t just ethics—but science as well. The brain has to work harder in order to maintain both the falsehood and the actuality in the memory when we lie. That added workload gives us certain tell-tale signs that betrays dishonesty.

Behavioral psychology experiments prescribe that when we lie:

• Our pupils would dilate because mental effort has increased.

• They will take more time to respond because their brain is creating a story.
• Their tone will slightly change because they are anxious.

Amazingly, “Telling Lies” by Paul Ekman, one of the world’s top detection-of-deception researchers, demonstrates that our faces give us away. He discovered microexpressions—brief, unconscious facial expressions—that flash on the face of a liar before he can hide them. Microexpressions are less than a second long and can reveal hidden feelings.

How to Catch a Liar

If you’re bent on catching a liar, look for these clues:

1. Inconsistent Stories: Liars can’t keep their tale straight. If a person is changing facts or adding new spin every five minutes, that’s a red flag. A truth-teller’s tale will hold up.
2. Avoiding Eye Contact… or Overdoing It: The most common lie told is that liars will not keep eye contact with others. True in some, but chronic liars will overcompensate and look too intensely in an effort to be trusted. Note uncharacteristically aberrant eye movement.
3. Nervous Body Language: Liars will exhibit nervous tendencies of:
   • Fidgeting hands
   • Touching their face
   • Stomping their feet
   • Be warned—there are naturally fidgety people too, so look for an uncharacteristic shift.
4. Procrastination or Very Rapid Response: The dishonest brain needs a moment to build a lie. This results in a momentary delay in responding. Some fibbers, however, pre-lie and reply too fast to seem confident.
5. Speech Characteristics: Fibbers will:
   • Reply somewhat slower or supernaturally fast
   • Use evasive speech such as “I guess” or “maybe”
   • Repeat the question in a bid to stall the response
   • Avoid contractions (e.g. “I did not” rather than “I didn’t”)
6. Defensive Behavior: When you confront someone dishonest covertly, he will probably overreact too much in being upset or in affirming he is telling the truth too strongly. Conscience guilt is most often what leads to defensiveness.
7. Lack of Emotion Matching Words: If a person is telling a sad story with a smile or apologizing with no hint of remorse in his tone, his feelings and body language may not match up with the words. It is a very widespread indicator of deception.

Are There Some People Who Are Better at Lying?

Yes! Some people are born to lie. There are some personality types—like narcissists—who are naturally great liars because they know their own fabricated tales. Individuals like these will lie automatically and even successfully deceive polygraph tests. It is interesting to learn that actors, politicians, and salespeople are generally good liars because their careers compel them to manipulate others.

Can You Train Yourself to Lie Better?

If you would like an answer to the question of whether you can become a better liar (not that I would advise it !), the answer is a short “yes.” Spies and gamblers have discovered how to cover body language, remain even-keel emotionally, and even maintain eye contact in case they weren’t caught. But we can only be a fraction so good at it when we lie in the spotlight.

Conclusion

Not all that is spoken with a lie within it is. White lies, for example, might be spoken to preserve relationships and avoid unnecessary stress. Deceivance, however, in issues of life and death—business, relationship, or the court—is catastrophic and destroys trust. Finally, the real question is not “Do we lie?” but “Do we ever need to tell the truth?” As Mark Twain so rightly said, “If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.”

Next time you get a whopper of a tale that sounds so preposterous that it would not even happen to some individuals, do look out for tells—you might just catch yourself a lie!

FAQs

1. Why do people lie?

People lie for various reasons, including avoiding consequences, gaining an advantage, protecting someone’s feelings, boosting their ego, or maintaining a social image.

2. Are there different types of lies?

Yes, lies can be categorized into white lies (harmless lies to protect others), self-serving lies (to gain an advantage), and manipulative lies (to deceive for personal gain).

3. What happens in the brain when we lie?

Lying requires extra cognitive effort. The brain works harder to track both the truth and the lie, leading to physiological changes like pupil dilation, delayed responses, and increased stress.

4. What are microexpressions, and how do they reveal lies?

Microexpressions are tiny, involuntary facial movements that briefly expose a person’s true emotions before they can consciously control them. These can reveal hidden emotions and deception.